What is trust?

I've been going through Beth Moore's bible study on the life of Paul. Today's study mentioned how Paul went to Ephesus and made a bee-line for the synagogue, so eager and passionate for his fellow Jews to believe in Jesus. And after a very difficult time in Athens and Corinth, these brothers and sisters were actually interested and receptive! They asked him to stay longer. But, apparently God had other plans for Paul, and Paul knew he wasn't to stay. So he declined. Amazing. After so much turmoil during his travels of people rejecting him or attacking him, here were people who asked him to stay. If I were Paul, I think I would've argued with God. "But God, I can do so much good here! They actually want to hear more! What will happen if I leave?" But as Beth Moore wrote in Week 5, Day 4, "There is a bumper sticker that reads, 'There is a God and you're not Him.' We are wise to trust Him when He seems to be leading us contrary to those things we want to do or those things which seem so rational and fitting." And perhaps because Paul left, God prepared Apollos. I wonder what might have happened if Paul had decided to do his own thing and NOT leave Ephesus like God instructed. Or perhaps it's better to say, what might NOT have happened if Paul had decided to do his own thing ... ?

So after reading that, I pondered what trust really is. Because Paul certainly had it. He trusted God, even when God was telling him to do something that didn't really make sense. What is trust?

I imagine trust to be something like this ... I'm standing on one end of a large room blindfolded and I cannot see anything. Not even a subtle difference in light or darkness. And all the way across the room is another person, able to see. And they call to me to walk towards them. Trust is being blind but stepping forward anyway, knowing that the other person is in this for my good. Being blind is key, because if I can see, it's not really trust, is it? It is my own ability.

But what creates the trust? I'm not going to start walking towards just any person who calls me. No way. Who is that person across the room?

• Do they know me? Are they really in this for MY good? Are they going to care if I trip on an obstacle? Will they really do everything they can to make sure I make it safely to the other side of the room? Or do they only think of themselves?
  
• Are they competent? Even if they desire my well-being, if they cannot communicate to me how to avoid obstacles and where to step up or down to avoid falling, then I don't want to trust in their directions.
  
• Will they stay until the end? I don't want them to walk out of the room while I'm standing in the middle, not able to go forward or backwards, just because they get tired or frustrated or need a tinkle break. Will they be patient with my mistakes, or will they give up, saying "You can't follow anything I say! Finish on your own!"?
  

I can think of several people who I would follow without question. I would step out blindly towards Aaron's voice. Because I trust him - he knows me, is in it for my good, he is competent, and he will stay until the end. I would follow my parents and parent's-in-law, as well as many friends. I would not step out upon hearing my children's voices ... they do know and love me, but competent? Not quite. At least, not yet. Give them another 18 years and my answer might change.

Will I blindly step out when I hear God's voice? Does He know and love me? Yes. Is He in this for my good? Yes. Is He competent. Oh yes. Will He stay until the end? Yes.

He deserves my trust. So why do I find it harder to trust God in certain things than I do my husband, or my family or friends? Perhaps because I'm forgetting Who He is, and that He deserves and has earned my trust more than anyone else.

So perhaps, when I find myself in a situation, figuratively blindfolded and hearing God's voice calling me to cross the large room, and I hesitate, I will remind myself of why God deserves my trust. And then I will take that first step, blind but safe.

~JG