"I can't take anymore stealing or blowing things up!"

This afternoon, Ellie and I played barbies. So after the "dressing them and doing their hair" stage of play (a pre-requisite for me ... I simply have issues with playing with naked and ratty-haired anythings), we entered the "create conflict" stage of play. Ellie is adamant about this. She loves to create conflict in the barbie world. Which is actually a good literary technique. I mean, what good book or story exists without conflict? Conflict drives the narrative. So, I'm okay with the conflict. Let's get jiggy with the barbie conflict.

"Mommy, you play with Rapunzel and I play with Ariel. And let's pretend that Rapunzel wants Ariel's skirt, so she steals it!" Ellie says this with zeal and excitement. Over and over. Yes, the only conflict that exists in barbie world, apparently, is the breaking of the 8th Commandment. (Come to think of it, that's the only real conflict in Polly Pocket world too ... hmmmm ...)

So Ariel leaves on an errand and Rapunzel sneaks into her house, steals her skirt (which is actually a pretty cool skirt, I must say) AND her shoes (likewise) and brings them back to her house. And then Rapunzel goes away on an errand, and Ariel comes and steals BACK the skirt and shoes!

Ellie is smiling. "Let's do it again! She steals the skirt AGAIN!"

Sigh. So we repeat the entire process, except this time Rapunzel is smart. She hides the said stolen skirt and shoes in the OVEN (or fuzzy red slipper) because no one will EVER think to look for a skirt in there! Ellie looks at me quizzically. But amazingly, when Rapunzel goes out on an errand (how many errands does a barbie have?), Ariel sneaks in and actually FINDS the skirt and shoes in the oven. Ariel is very perceptive. Rapunzel returns, and laments her actions. 'Maybe I shouldn't steal anymore,' she cries. 'Stealing is bad ...'

"Let's do it again!" squeals Ellie. "Let's pretend I go out on an errand and you come in and steal my skirt."

I sigh. I am tired of the stealing! Not just today, but every time we play, I am reduced to a thief. If my brain were more awake, I'd try a distraction technique - maybe try breaking a different Commandment. But alas, I was awake until 1:30 this morning reading "The Sin Eater" (sooooo amazingly good, which is why I couldn't stop!) so my brain levels are low. I throw in the towel.

"I'm tired of stealing, Ellie. I don't want to steal anymore."

"But I want you to steal."

"I don't like stealing, Ellie. Let's play something else instead."

"But I want you to steal! Let's pretend you steal my skirt 8 more times."

"No! I'm done stealing! I will not steal anymore!"

"But," she starts to cry, "I want you to steal!!!!"

This conversation is so weird. Finally, I just left Ellie in her room, with her little well-dressed barbie thieves. She cries, but eventually stops and finds something else to do. Sigh.

So, we pick Caleb up from school. He does his homework. And he wants to play. So I go into his room and we play Star Wars legos. He is the battle droids, and I am the 2 gungans. And we battle. For 10 minutes, I throw those little blue gungan ball-bombs at his little droids, and they blow up. And sometimes I use my mega-gun-cannon (which is really from Hoth, but who's counting?) at his droid ship and it blows up. For 10 minutes. Blowing things up. For 10 minutes. BHkEKWKWKLEKWKWKW (that's an explosion sound). For 10 minutes. He is happy as a clam. And I have 2 gungans who are blowing things up.

Finally, Ellie calls, asking me to help her wipe so she doesn't get poop on her hands. And I'm actually grateful! And I'm actually grateful that the dishwasher needs to be emptied and filled.

Sigh. I just can't take anymore stealing or blowing things up!

So after the kids were in bed, we watched part of Avatar ... which is all about stealing and blowing things up! Ahhhhhhh ... the irony.

~JG
~JG